Let's Talk About... New Book Anxiety

Scene

It begins with a search for a home theater projector. Yesterday was full of productive home-cleaning activity, and the venom of the Improvement Bug bite is a powerful stimulant. My ninth wedding anniversary is next month. My husband has been eyeing a projector for our bedroom ever since we tried one in our Rome Airbnb back in May. A great gift idea, wouldn't you say?

Not so when you have severe buyer's anxiety. After an hour, I was feeling the burnout from searching for a quality product at a price that didn't make my stomach churn. So I checked in with Writing Twitter to see the latest buzz and distract myself from my failure.

I came across a tweet from an author I'd never heard of, an excited announcement about the acquisition and publication of her latest fantasy duology. Magic, a historical setting, and apparently similar to something she had already written with those same characteristics. Curious, I went back to Amazon and looked up the first book in the author's current series. A great description, a fascinating premise, and even a glowing recommendation from Brandon Sanderson, an author I love and respect. The cherry on the sundae? The Kindle edition was on a huge sale.

Then my stomach began churning again. "What's the big deal? This is nowhere near as expensive as buying a projector! Get it together!" I told myself. But of course, I knew what was really going on. This wasn't buyer's anxiety... this was something else, something much worse when you are an author and supposedly someone who loves to read. This was...

NEW BOOK ANXIETY

I don't know why I struggle so much with reading new books. I should love the idea of jumping into a fresh world and meeting new characters. Honestly, I do love it... but it still makes me nervous. It's like when you're watching a movie and something really terrible is happening to the main character, and you're on edge because you don't know how the story is going to come right again. Books give me that too, only stronger and before I even read the first page. Is it fear of what I'll find within the pages? Fear the quality will be poor? Fear of falling in love with the characters only to see them suffer an unsatisfactory resolution? Whatever it is, it makes investing in a new book and a new author terribly difficult.

My typical solution for this is to go to the library. Perhaps my buyer's anxiety plays a little into my new book anxiety, because borrowing a book from the library makes me feel less nervous about the situation. I wouldn't say I am a person who lacks commitment, but somehow expending the resource of time (by reading) feels more doable than expending the resource of money. Thing is, if I love the book, it will absolutely be purchased and added to my collection. I believe in supporting writers who inspire me. It's the initial step off the cliff that holds me back.

Today's story ends happily. Instead of reaching for my library's website, I decided to take that step off the cliff. Reader, I bought the book. And you know what? I feel pretty good about it.

Let's Talk About... Writer's Block

Scene.

It's Friday afternoon. My kids are happily playing without needing my input. The house doesn't look too much like it was hit by a tornado. Now is the moment! I go to the computer, settle into my chair, and open the Google Doc with my current writing project. This second draft is getting close to being done. I've been excited about the direction the edit is taking, and if this session goes well, I'll be ready to move on to another story and hand this one over to some beta readers. My hands hover over the keyboard and...

I hit it. The wall. The one scrawled with two stark words.

WRITER'S BLOCK

Is it ironic that I'm writing a blog post about not being able to write? Yes. I'm doing it anyway, because writing something new is one of my proven methods for beating writer's block when it shoves its way into my brain. If you're a writer, you've probably found yourself struggling with similar feelings. Maybe you were really excited about the concept of your MS, but have since run into a plot snag that won't come unraveled. Maybe this is your fourth revision and you're struggling to find things to improve. Or maybe you're feeling the pressure of using your "free moment" to full effect.

Whatever the cause of your writer's block, you can and will write again.

The first trick is learning to accept that you may not always feel ready or able to write when a "moment" presents itself. That's okay! Most of us aren't even on a deadline (other than the one we've put on ourselves). We don't need to beat ourselves up for taking time away from writing to manage other parts of our lives, or even to just have a break.

Letting projects simmer on the back burner is a time-tested method that I find improves the overall quality of my work. (Archimedes, anyone?) I can stir and add and worry and fret, but my story pot will never bubble with new ideas--or fresh takes on current ones--unless I leave it alone, covered and on medium, until all the pieces are soft enough to mix together.

But shouldn't I be writing all the time if I want to improve my craft? Who says I'm not? I'm a dreamer by nature, and my story ideas are definitely things I daydream about. They keep me company while I fold laundry and wash dishes and build train tracks for my toddler. Eventually they take me by the hand and show me where they need to go, and then I write.

Make no mistake, however. A cluttered mind is not the same as letting stories simmer on the back burner of your subconscious. How can I immerse myself in creating a new world when the current world is shouting for attention? The answer--for me, anyway--is that I can't.

I want to write, but those bathrooms need to be cleaned. I want to write, but what about making dinner? Writing! But also cleaning the garage!

Does this sound like you? Does this happen a lot when you sit down to write? If it does, here's my second trick: make progress on other parts of your life before starting a writing session.

Admittedly, I'm still working on this one. I like to put off doing tasks I don't enjoy, and telling myself I'm developing my author career sounds a lot nicer than admitting my time is going to Twitter or Pinterest. Ultimately, though, every time I've done something to improve a different part of my life, my ability to focus on writing has also improved. That "I've earned this" feeling is a powerful one for me. I deserve to take time for my writing because I worked and didn't procrastinate something else.

Decluttering my mind also happens when I write something down that I hadn't "planned" to write. With the plot and distraction bunnies snacking on their own page, my brain is free to find new insights and make new connections. My MS may be simmering on the back burner, but I do need to keep an eye on it so it doesn't spoil, and putting other ideas in their own pot keeps everything cooking along nicely. This is my third trick.

I've actually hit writer's block with the blog post, if you can believe it. Since that's the case, I'm going to wrap it up here. Maybe I'll clean a bathroom or fold some laundry. Whatever I do, I know I won't be putting myself down for not writing.



Ta-da!

I walked away from this blog post and remembered something I wanted to add! Another trick I like for beating writer's block also applies to finding more time to write.

Writing takes focus, and I find my best writing happens under two conditions: when I'm wide awake and uninterrupted. There's really no point in trying to write during the afternoon. Sure, my toddler may be napping, but my brain is fuzzy with afternoon fog. I won't make anything like meaningful progress when I'm wishing I could be napping too.

Figure out which conditions allow you to produce your best writing, both in terms of quality and quantity, and write when you can meet those conditions. They'll be different for everyone, so I won't tell you that good writing only happens when the moon is three-quarters full and you've eaten your way through half a package of Twizzlers. I will say that my best writing happens in the early morning, when I'm fresh and laser-focused and the house around me is quiet. Writing like this shifts the focus from "finding more time" to writing more in less time.

That's it for now! Time to actually clean that bathroom...